Breast Cancer IIa (5th Herceptin Treatment)

Hai everybody, Have not been updating my blog for so long. Busy! busy! busy!
My maid is still on leave, already 2 months.
Started my printing business with my two best buddies last 1st July 2011.
Last Friday was my son's 3rd birthday, celebrating at his school and at home on Saturday
Also last Friday was my 5th cycle Herceptin treatment. I have a long way to go.

A year has past since my 1st operation on August 2010. Time flies and thanked god i am still good and walking. The sickness has taught my so much, i love my hubby and children so much.

Breast Cancer Stage 2a (Final Radiotherapy Treatment)

Hai, its been a while since i have updated my blog. I have been occupied by other things.

Today was my 15th and last radiotherapy treatment and still not sure what is the next treatment for me. Another doctor appointment maybe next week.

I have gone through two operations, 6 cycle of chemotherapy and 15 times radiotherapy therapy since August last year. Already 8 months and i feel good. With my good appetite, i gain back my weight.

I have met a friend who is also having the same condition as i am but a year younger. We talked and i am grateful that our condition is much better than others who are having nose, throat or other cancer that effect their body function which makes them so dependable to other.

A friend of mine have recommended maqui juice and i am taking it since 2 days ago. Maqui berry contains the highest antioxidant in fruits. After taking it my body feels so extremely tired, i think that my body is getting rid of all toxins from my system. All the information i have gather claiming that this superfruit is good for your health, so i will see whether it is good for me or otherwise.

Breast Cancer Stage IIa (Final Chemotherapy Treatment)

Hubby and me

Hai, its been a while since i have visited my blog site. Sometimes i feel that what is the point of having a blog. Is anybody reading these?

Any way, It has been a bitter sweet challenge this pass 6 months since i first had my operation in August 2010. Last 25 January was my 6th and final cycle of chemotherapy treatment. Apart from the obvious hair and weight loss, overall was good. Good means; considering i am having this sickness, i am still able to live a normal life, go to work, hosting my daughter's birthday party, travelling, spend time with my family without much health difficulties. I am really grateful for that.

My radiotherapy treatment will start around March 2011 which is 3 weeks 15 times. Another round of side effects that i have to endure.

It was a busy Christmas and Chinese New Year for me. I had to plan all my preparation around my treatment dates. That is the beauty of thinking positive, in any condition you are in if you forget about the difficulties you are facing you can do anything you want.

I am looking forward for my hair to grow. I can see tiny little baby hair sticking out from my bold head. Please grow into straight and silky hair.

I am going to Hong Kong with my hubby and children this coming 15 February 2011 which i purposely did not inform my doctor. luckily my next appointment is 2 March 2011 and it did not clash with the traveling date. I will post some photos when i come back.

GONG XI FA CHAI.

Breast Cancer Stage IIa (Chemotherapy Treatment Day 74)

Surprisingly i am feeling not too bad today, its my 2nd day of my 4th Chemotherapy treatment. I slept the whole afternoon yesterday and continue till this morning. I manage to stay awake the whole day today and still can play my online game. Hopefully the nausea feeling which will normally starts on my 3rd day will be a mild and controllable.

Thanks god all the support you have given me through out my ordeal, another 2 more cycle of chemotherapy and according to the doctor i have to complete a radiotherapy treatment for 15 days at SMC.

I am on medical leave for 4 days and recuperating at home with my 2 kids. My daughter asked me why i am always tired and taking my nap, guess she do not entirely understand my condition.

Hope the side effect is very mild this time.

Merry Christmas everyone. Have you completed your Christmas shopping.

Breast Cancer Syage IIa (Chemotherapy Treatment Day 59)

I am so tired today, i have started work on Monday. The first day is always the hardest to wake up and drive to work. My two kids are not feeling well and keep on turning and tossing at night, waking me up and not enough sleep making me even tiring.

My mouth feels sour and dry. The nausea feeling has gone but my mouth and throat is so dry and taste weird.

The day of my 3rd chemo treatment last 23rd November 2010, the doctor was calling their patient into the doctor consultation room and when it was my turn the doctor called me 'Auntie Leona'. Haaaaa! The doctor was shocked to see that i am even younger than her. She apologised and explained that all her patients are already aunties...

I slept almost 4 days after the treatment, vomited few times and feeling nausea the whole time. I cannot wait to complete the treatment, 3 more to go. The next one will be on 14 December 2010.

Breast Cancer Stage IIa (Chemotherapy Treatment Day 47)

Thank God i feel good today.

My next treatment will be on 23 November 2010; Tuesday.

Time flies really fast especially at the end of the year. When Christmas comes, i will complete my 4th chemo cycle. Hope the side effect will be inimal, i have so much to prepare for Christmas, need all my energy to do a lot of shopping and attend family gatherings all in December. Shopping for present, new clothes for me and my kids.

Tomorrow at my hubby 'Kampung' there will be a 60th year anniversary celebration of the Kampung, next Saturday on 27 November 2010 there will two different family gatherings, a wedding on the 4th December, another family gathering at Tambunan on 18th December 2010, Christmas at Kolopis, Christmas at Kota Belud the next day, Family Gathering again at Kota Belud on 30th December and a wedding on 1st January 2011 which will also be our 6 year wedding anniversary. The schedules are really packed.

I frequently drink barley which believes to be good in cleaning your kidney. My family loves it except my daughter.

I have endure another painful 3rd cycle treatment on next Tuesday and another 4 days of suffering. What to do, i have no choice but to complete the whole 6 cycle. My weight on 18 November 2010 drop to 47.1kg.

Pray for me.   

Breast Cancer Stage IIa (Chemotherapy Treatment Day 37)

Bad mouth ulcer and cough! Argggg....I cannot even take cough mixture. I am having this mouth ulcer for 3 days now. tried gargling with salt water but it only relieves it for a while.The pain when i am chewing, unbearable.

I have started work on Monday and i met my boss in the morning, he did not even notice my wig. He though i am not having any hair loss, he even complemented on my new hair cut. He was shocked when i told him the truth. It as amusing, he even teased me to put on a blue colour wig.

I only have another 12 days before my 3rd treatment before all those lousy side effect and tiredness taking over my life for another round, i want to enjoy my days, eat nice tasty food, watch a couple of movies, enjoy myself with my kids and hubby.

I am going outstation again tomorrow to Kuala Penyu. It is something i used to enjoy but now days it is only work for me. Drive, reach there, complete my work and drive back. 4 hours drive.

Drive safe everybody......

Breast Cancer Stage IIa (Chemotherapy Treatment Day 30)

2 November 2010 was my 2nd chemotherapy treatment and the pain when the drugs transmit in my veins still feel very overwhelming. The nausea feeling is still not hitting me yet, just the extreme fatigue. Yesterday, after the treatment i came home and i nap and sleep the whole afternoon and night. The doctor told me that the side effect will be less every each cycle, If that will happen to me that it is a relieve.

The only thing that i am really controlling is the food and the amount of water i take. Less water or not so clean fruits or food will cause swollen tonsil and high fever. That is the worst part if you are having nausea, headache, fatigue and at the same time swollen tonsil and fever. Arggggg!

I hope this time around the side effect will be less then the last one. Finger cross. God protect me.

Breast Cancer Stage IIa (Chemotherapy Treatment Day 26)

Few hours ago i have just spoken to a very good friend of mine. She just delivered her daughter and i plan to visit her tomorrow. She did not know i have this sickness and after talking about her delivery, kids and suddenly she asked about my surgery. Even though i have completely accepting the fact but I still cry when people ask me about this thing that i am having.

I am so sorry, it is not something that i will brag about.Honestly i feel normal (except for the few days after the chemotherapy), i do not want other people to look at me with those sympathetic eyes and treat me like i am extremely sick. It is really mentally draining.It is Cancer but what can i do! just accept with a positive mind, fight it and pray to god.

I hate those people who would consciously or unconsciously take advantage of people like me. As soon as they know about my condition, all sorts of MLM product will be bugging me like leaches. NO THANK YOU! I am capable of doing my own research. Even the doctor will not encourage Chemo patient to consume all those MLM product. How do you know the real content and dosage of the product, will it react with the chemo drugs? all those agents out there are not Doctors.

Tomorrow there will be a breast cancer awareness campaign at Le Meridien Hotel 9.30am to 12.30pm. They will teach you how to self examine your breast which we should do every month. Please attend.

Breast Cancer Stage IIa (Chemotherapy Treatment Day 19)

My 2nd cycle chemotherapy treatment scheduled 25 October 2010 has been postponed to 2 November 2010. Everything was arrange by my husband all because of his 1 week 4x4 Borneo Safari Challenge. It is a good thing that the treatment can be postponed, it eliminates all the negative feelings of sadness, dissatisfaction, regret and maybe hatred. I wanted it to be earlier but the nurse told us that i need to complete the 3 weeks cycle. So now, everybody is happy, he can go for his outing and he will be by my side for the treatment.

My hair started to fall off until the stage that every time i shower and wash my hair i had to collect a lot of hair from the floor. If anybody see me around, do not be fooled with my sleek and stylist hair cut, it is all fake. My sisters and i bought a wig last Thursday at City Mall. Even the Pengarah of Hospital Kuala Penyu complimented me on my new hair cut when i met him on Friday. I wonder what will my Boss say?

My hair 80% are gone now and still falling! farewell to my long hair. I cut my hair really short (boy cut) last Tuesday. I told the hair stylist that my hair cannot be dry blowned, comb and wet. she gave me a surprised face but i just asked her to just cut my hair short without any explanation.

Physically a bit week, very hard to control the swollen of my tonsil. I cannot consumed other drugs like panadol or antibiotic for my tonsil so i had to just use salt water to kill of the infection.

Okay, till the next treatment. Hope everything will not be as bad as the last one.   

Breast Cancer Stage IIa (Chemotherapy Treatment Day 12)

9 more days before the 2nd cycle. I will not sound right but i cannot wait to have it even thought i am afraid to go through another terrible ordeal. After this one it will be 4 more cycle.

I am hurt that my husband will not be around for a week when i am on the drugs next 2 weeks. He will be participating in the Borneo Safari 4x4 challenge support team which he has planned for few months. I feel guilty for asking him to stay but how can i survive without him, who is going to drive me to the hospital and back home, who will play with the kids when i cannot for 4 days, who will take care and support me when i am in pain.
I am so hurt that i am not his priority. Why cannot he understand that the 4x4 challenge is an yearly event, he still can go next year but your wife is critically ill (it is not an yearly thing that people get sick).

If the situation is reverse, he will be my first priority. I cannot bare to see him suffer. Maybe this shows that i love him more!  If he really just leave me and suffer alone, i do not think i can forgive him.

Breast Cancer Stage IIa ( Chemotherapy Treatment Day 5)

Thanks god. I feel 80% better today, the nausea feeling, headache and body aching have subsided but still feel fatigue and i need constantly watch what i consume or my tonsil will get infected.

I drove my daughter to her clay and ballet classes today and had lunch with my hubby and kids at Pizza hut. They really crave for some tasty and not plain tasteless food we had for the pass months. I only had abit of the pizza and they finish all the garlic bread, meat ball spaghetti, fries, cokes, wings and the pizza. How i wish i have the appetite to eat all of that.

Hopefully my suffering only last for 4 days after the treatment cycle. If that is the case then i think i will survive this horrific ordeal. 24 days of suffering for the 4 and half months of treatment.

I am very gratefully for the support my family and friends have given me for the pass few days. Daniel has even bought some Chinese roots, mushroom and white and red carrots to boil and drink to enhance the immune system. Carol, Patricia and Rose have send me sms that helps to lighten a bit of the suffering. My lovely mum came to stay with us for few days and cook the most delicious dishes even though i cant taste much of it but i believe it was mouth watering. My husband was always telling me to be strong and my kids are so understanding and kind, not much fuss from them but hugs and kisses from Lara and Kyle.

I am so afraid of the next treatment on 25 October 2010. I am really traumatised from this first experience. The needle, the drugs, the smell and the feeling. PAIN!

I will be starting work on Monday, i have decided to return to work so that i can go through the days faster and i guess i am used to be working for my mental health and stability. Luckily i have a good, reliable and dependable helper and baby sitter.

PRAY FOR ME!

Breast Cancer Stage IIa (Chemotreatment day 3)

My chemotherapy treatment started on Monday 4 October 2010.
I RATHER DIE! How can anyone endure this feeling and pain. STOP IT! God, all along i have been a positive thinking person and strong but this is the worst test you have given me. I have maintained my health so far, but this is too much.

Body aching, started fever this morning, tonsil swollen, nausea, headache, extreme fatigue. Constantly lying down and taking naps. My mental state right now is draining till the last drop. I cannot do it any more, i want this to stop.STOP! STOP!

I need to see my doctor tomorrow and discuss on other options. Maybe i need to have my blood test to check my cancer marker. If i am free from it, why must i suffer. i am more suffering now than ever.

GOD GUIDE ME.

Breast Cancer Stage IIa (Day 26)

My appointment with the Oncologist on 23 September 2010 has confirmed that i need chemotherapy for 6 cycles, 1 cycle is for 3 weeks. My condition is in the middle, not the earliest and not the worst. The good thing is that my lymph nodes tested negative for the cancer cells but cancer cell positive for Her2+. Only 15 -25% of cancer patients are Her2+ and i am one of the unlucky ones, the cancer cells growth are more aggressive. That is why i need the chemotherapy.

The shake his head when the answer for all his questions are 'NO'. Do you smoke? do you ever smoke? drink? any history of breast cancer in your family? are you over weight? eat meat excessively?. Then how come i am the given this illness?. There are many other factors, includes environmental pollution, chemical exposure, stress, etc, no way to pin point.

The only regret i have was i did not seek for a second opinion when i first detected the lump way back in March and May 2010. The doctor i saw did an ultrasound and confirm it is not cancerous but luckily i decided to removed it in August just in case. Only if i have known earlier, i could have removed the lump earlier.

The chemotherapy will start on 5 October 2010. I am still not sure whether to implant a chemo pot or not? how will the side effect be.....i will lose my hair! gosh this is really big for me. God let everything be okay and not painful.

Breast Cancer Stage IIa (Day 18)

As the days goes by, i some times forget that i have some very serious activity going on inside me. My taste buds are tempting me and it is so difficult to resist. Last Friday my younger sister came back from KL and my aunt over there packed some nice juicy dried sweet meat....yum....luckily my husband quickly finish most of them and last night my husband and kids went out and had KFC for dinner, i had my dinner earlier so i only had few fries.

A childhood friend visited me on 15 September 2010 evening, we talked and she lend me a very useful book about antioxidant. Read it a bit and it really is an introduction to Vitamin E, C, polic acid and etc. Do you know that too fully benefit from the vitamin C or E, you should consume both E and C together.  I did not know that!

I bought my supplements last Friday, Vitamin E, C, multivitamins, Calcium Magnesium and Co enzyme Q10. Have been taking all the vitamins for two days now along with consuming fruits and vegetables with abit of chicken or fish meat. Hopefully the antioxidant in my body could control all the free radicals that is harmful to my health cells. I read in some articles that taking soy can cause cancer so do taking milk. Is it true? i am not drinking my milk and calcium making my back ache, that is why i have to take Calcium tablets.

How about taking Spirulina? Husband, kids and I have been taking spirulina tablets for months now but a friend of mine told me that it causes lung and liver cancer. I have to get more information on this.

My left arm is still aching. 12 days after the operation and the pain is still there. Those who have survived this illness explained that the toughest time to go through is during the chemotherapy period. It all depends on the side effect it causes you, some would be so weak that they could not get out of bed, feels hungry but have no appetites to eat  or difficult to eat due to dry throat, nausea, body ache and migraine. Oh God hope i can go through all of this and please lighten the suffering during my treatment.

My Oncology appointment will be on 23 September 2010 2pm. The specialist doctor will decide what suitable treatment will i be put on. Hope for the best.

Will get you updated after the appointment.

Breast Cancer Stage IIa (Day 14)

Notice the changes in the title. Stage IIa : the tumor is larger than 2 centimeters but not larger than 5 centimeters and has not spread to the axillary lymph nodes.

My 1st doctor review after the major operation was this morning. The stitches were cut off and some fluid and blood in the empty space between the breast tissue were drained out via needle and syringe.  I was given both a good and a bad news. The histopathology report states the followings which the doctor underline;
1. No invasive carcinoma seen in margin ( no cancer cell on the breast tissue )
2. Lymph node summary : Number involved : 0 ( no cancer cell spread to the Lymph node) Thank God!
3. Estrogen receptor: negative, Progesterone receptor : negative ( cancer cell are not towards hormone receptor, so hormone therapy is not suitable for me)
4. Nottingham prognostic index:2.5 (tumor size 2.5cm)
5. Her2 type of tumor (ER/PR negative, Her2 neu positive) (Bad news for me)

HER2 is a gene that sends control signals to your cells, telling them to grow, divide, and make repairs. To shrink or get rid of the remaining cancer cell i need to be treated with a drug called herceptin which will be injected into my blood veins also called chemotherapy treatment. I read these information from the wed. The doctor only told me that my next appointment will be on 27 September 2010 and he will refer me to the Oncologist at Hospital Likas. Before the doctor starts his treatment tentatively 1st week of October he need to see me.

The treatment will have side effect;
Some Common Side Effects: Chills or fever, Weakness, Nausea, Body pain
Less Common Side Effects: Headache, Abdominal pain, Back pain, Infection, Flu-like symptoms, Diarrhea

I really cannot wait to start with the treatment. I believe mentally i am strong (at the moment), hope it will continue through out the treatment.

Breast Cancer Stage 1 (Day 9)

I removed the dressing on my wound for the first time today. There will be two long scares when it heals. One on upper side of left breast and one on my left armpit. Armpit still feels numb. Is it normal? Hope the numbness will disappear.

Last night we went out and drove along the Inanam old road which was so bumpy i feel like something is tearing me apart from inside. Why in the world did he took that road! It is so difficult when my son suddenly wanted to be carried all the time. Manja Mama. My left arm could not be straighten or the muscle connected to the armpit will stretch the stitches. Pain!

Hope within a week the pain will slowly subside so i can stop taking the pain killer. I have started to browse through information on what supplement to take to improve the immune system and starve the cancer cell. I had stop taking sugar and anything contain sugar. For dinner today i ate a bit of chicken fillet which was cooked together with leafy vegetable, carrot and tomatoes. Before dinner around 5pm i ate oranges and mango fruit. I read in an article that explains that fruits are to be taken on an empty stomach so that all the nutrients will be absorb into our body.

Tomorrow will be a joyful celebration for the Muslims and there will be preparing a lot of delicacies, very tempting but i think i will have the will and power to resist all those sweet, fatty and spicy food. I had to just sit in and recover, no Berhari Raya for me this year.

My husband and his friends planned to spend a night outdoor at a river in his Kampung this weekend. what a wrong timing, it will be an excellent experience for my kids. Maybe we will have our picnic there at the river and spend a night at my in-laws. To bad i could not deep into the river.

When i have recover from my illness i will start a new interesting way of life. I will do the things that i have wanted to do for many years, taking better care of myself, health, appearance and be more outgoing, be in touch with the environment and be involve in outdoors activities with my husband and kids.

Stressing about your work and money are not healthy.  Yes, we need money to survive but why must we be stress about getting more when it will affect our health. Work to pay of your future illness?

I did took photos of my  breast tissue and lymph nose surgically removed on 7 September 2010, Not sure whether it is appropriate to upload in this blog. Maybe i will upload the next time.

Breast Cancer Stage 1 (Day 7)

Hai everyone. Thanked God my operation went well yesterday but my left armpit is abit numb.

The day before the operation, i had so much office work to complete, prepare NCR for KPU, draf a memo to HQ and complete the Zonal HMR report which i managed to complete at around 11pm.

The day of the operation which is the 7 September 2010 i woke up at 6am, packed up my things then my husband sent me to Damai Specialist Clinic. I was send to the OT at 9:30am. I did not feel a thing during the operation but when i was just started to wake up from the sedation, the pain under my armpit is really overwhelming. The doctor had to give me pain killer and mix some in the drip. I was in the OT room for almost 3 hours.

The night in the ward was like a family get together slumber party, all my 6 sisters came to visit me and brought me fruits to eat. The most memorable thing is that my husband bought me a bouquet of flower and the note says ' To mummy, get well soon. Luv, husband, Lara and Kyle'. So sweet, really appreciate and love my husband.

I guess there will always be a good thing that is hiding behind a bad situation. I am so grateful that i detected the lump early, i have a loving and supporting family and friends and an understanding Boss. He has help me to arrange for the company to reimburse my medical expenses. So, i do not have to disturb my personal insurance for my future use.

My next treatment will be decided on the next doctor review. Thanks everyone for your support.

Breast Cancer Stage 1 (Day 4)

It is a normal day today, when to church this morning, had our lunch, when home before sending Lara to her ballet class.

This few days, i am easily feeling exhausted. Why? maybe it is only in my mind. I need to fight it. Tomorrow i am going outstation to Kuala Penyu. Work still need to go on.

I have cut almost 90% of meat intake for the past 2 days. I did not even tried the chicken my husband grille last night for dinner. It used to be my favourite. I only ate white rice, cabbage with ikan bilis and water melon. Hope i can maintain a healthier eating habit. I also cycle about 10km on my exercise bike today.

My husband plan to bring us for a camping trip next weekend on one of the beaches at Kota Belud but we maybe need to reschedule it. It will be my 4th day after the operation.

The stitches from the previous operation have not entirely healed.  Maybe it needs at least a month to recover.

Tomorrow will be the last day for me to enjoy all the food that i like after Tue, no more meat, eggs, sea food and milk for me. I need to adopt a whole new menu. Still need to do some research.

Let you guys know if i have done that. Hope i will be relax the whole day tomorrow and Tue.

Breast Cancer Stage 1 (Day 3)

I am feeling slightly better. The first night after the shocking news i could not sleep, woke up at 2am and i rearrange the small cabinets in the bedroom quietly so not to awake my husband and kids. sudden urge to do something.

Called the doctor yesterday and rescheduled the operation to 7 September 2010 8:30am. I need to spend at least 2 nights at the Hospital away from my kids. Still have not told my kids yet. Will they understand!
I have only told my mum that i need to have another operation to remove some more of the tissue. It is so difficult to tell her that I have breast cancer. It will brake her heart.I have decided to let me go through with the operation first then tell her the whole story.

This morning i have told my friends at work, Carol, Patricia and Daniel. They are so supportive. Thanks guys.

I need to folk out RM7k this time. Not sure whether i need to implant the chemo pot during my next operation. what if i do not need chemotherapy? the chemo pot will cost my RM2k. Need to discuss with my doctor.

My back is aching, will this be one of the symptoms of feeling depress?or lack of sleep? i need to cut my meat intake,maybe to 90%.

Really cannot wait to have the operation. The faster it finish the faster i can recover.

Whoever is reading my blog, i would like to say thank you and please pray for my fast recovery.